hours

Life is composed of the time in which we breathe and live and exist. With each tick of the small hand our identities, mindsets, and events within life can change in an instant. Jeanette Winterson identifies this idea as the time that is spent within the mere hours of one’s life. Hours that prolong anxiety, or capture beauty, or reveal truth. These hours contain and hold much depth within their course.

“I watched the lights going off at some windows, on at others. Was she in his bed? What did that have to do with me? I ran a schizophrenic dialogue with myself through the hours of darkness and into the small hours, so called because the heart shrivels up to the size of a pea and there is no hope left in it.” (Winterson, Written on the Body)

Within the hours of the night, Winterson shows that each thought and second holds meaning for her. As she talks back and forth with herself she sees that she is driving herself mad in the attempt at love with Louise. These instances in Written on the Body emphatically compliment Michael Cunningham’s ideas about the hours spent in life. The same value is assigned to each passing moment. These single moments in time are viewed as moments that could change the course of life. Minor details are drawn out in an attempt to grasp the moment’s entire meaning. Nothing should be taken for granted here; this time is sacred.

“These were my thoughts as she slept beside me and if she had any fears she did not reveal them in those night-time hours. I looked at her lying trustfully in the spot where she had lain for so many nights. Could this bed be treacherous?” (Winterson, Written on the Body)

Just as there are hours that are extremely significant, there are also those that stretch in tedious, painful ways. These hours rip at our souls and seem as though the seconds last a lifetime and yet nothing happens in these slight moments. Winterson finds herself in a place in which she has no idea how to escape from. She sees these hours as being wasted away and, ultimately, as hours of absolute confusion and fear. This concept of the hours spent within the life of a human being diverges from Cunningham’s view of the hourse. He constantly expressed how a single day holds enough significance to reveal a lifetime of a person. The hours, in his mind was not meant to be wasted away by any means, it was to be explored and used as various turning points within someone’s life, not some mere passing of the time.

While both authors express “the hours” within their novels, both do so in distinct ways. Jeanette Winterson spends most hours confused and paces the time away as she undertakes her mind-boggling predicament at hand. Whereas, Michael Cunningham has his characters soak up each and every second possible, each and every trivial detail stitched within the fabric of a single day.

I did not think that I could love... or be loved that way again.

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Like Spiders Across the Stars

“The total of a person’s life is revealed in a single, ordinary day.”

Could all that a person is, all that a person has passions for, desires for, hatred against, empathy with, be revealed in one single moment, in one single day?

I believe so.

I believe that each second we breathe, each second we sigh, each second we waste, or each second that we live could determine and have affect in unbelievable ways on our meanings within our confusions of life; even on the stories, paths, and lives of the others journeying beside us. One of my absolute favorite authors, Jack Kerouac, says in his book On the Road, “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” His desire to live for more than just a typical, normal life is completely expressed in this one single, inspiring statement. As I read this, I felt such a deep want to be known as “mad” throughout my life, to “never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn!” So much is conveyed in one single sentence, one single moment. One thing that I love about literature as well, is that these single moments have the ability to last until the end of time, creating single moments for each person that dives into its text. What a beautiful expression of art.

Here’s the most amazing thing about literature: the vastness of a human beings own life can be summed up within its pages. So many experiences that calculate to the character that someone is can be revealed to the reader within a mere sentence. What a beautiful concept; that the presentation of words can hold such a vastness of life. This is why I am such a lover of the written word. I can sit down and read a novel, a poem, a sentence, and have some idea of who this person is, where they are at, what makes them the writer that they are. There can also be so much hidden meaning behind stories or poems that take time to discover its true purpose and intention. It becomes a puzzle for the reader, a place to discover and divulge.

This is why writing should not be taken for granted. We should all be writing more, all discovering who we are or have become from our written tongue.

My hopes are to become a journalist one day. My hopes are to precisely convey the young woman that I am, that I’m becoming, while inspiring others to go beyond the unknown and be the best they can possibly be. Words are one of the most powerful ways to move human beings.

So go ahead, take a pause from everyday life, grab a book, a poem, a friend’s short story, dive in, and discover the vastness contained in each line.

For God So Loved the World

In the 1900s there were highly controversial issues such as slavery and women’s rights; today, we have the topic of homosexuality. This lifestyle is something that has been debated, rejected, and persecuted in many ways throughout America, as well as the entire world. Many biblical references in regards to this subject raise tons of questions and concerns. What the bible says has played a substantial role in influencing people’s views of homosexuality.

To be a Christian, to truly be a Christian, means to be a follower of Christ; someone that seeks to emulate the very nature and qualities possessed by the Son of God Himself. This is not an easy pursuit by any means; however, in the process of interpreting the Bible in attempts to better understand God, unfortunately, human beings have interfered and had their affect in negative ways. Jesus Christ was a living example of love; love that is not prescribed only to certain people, with certain mindsets, and with certain lifestyles. One of the most world renown verses in the bible, John 3:16, says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” I immediately want to wipe away any slanderous claims that “God hates homosexuals” or “homosexuals are an abomination.” Not once in the bible does it say that God would hate such people. If any thing, in my opinion, He is pained and sorrowful for those who are claiming to know Him and yet use His name in completely wrong ways.

In terms of what the bible actually says in regards to homosexuality, there are many references in which the subject is discussed. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul says, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” These things are described as offenses to God. Some people believe that by “homosexual offenders” Paul is referring to something more along the lines of prostitution or offense.

For a long time I wasn’t sure how I even felt about the subject. I was aware of it. I wasn’t exposed to it very often. I had the mindset that the bible said that it’s wrong. That’s all I knew.

Christianity is an interesting lifestyle. It can quickly become about following the religion as apposed to following Jesus Christ. Too many Christians have sacrificed one of the ultimate commandments proclaimed by God in the bible, to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus Christ would have never protested against homosexuals or screamed out that God hates them. He would have been actively teaching and showing His unconditional love. God knows that we are all in process. He knows that we have trials to face, that we all will fall in weakness inevitably; that’s the absolute beauty of the cross. Jesus Christ took our burdens upon His shoulders, upon His death. What a perfect picture of absolute sacrifice and true love. Who are we then to scream at the very humans that He died for? How can we judge whom God loves and whom He doesn’t?

Despite the many, many things that I myself am in process of understanding about the bible, I can place all of my confidence, hope, strength, and trust in God’s love. We can all place our confidence in God’s love.