My Austin Journey #1

I’ve been in Austin, Texas for about two and half weeks and God has already been teaching me some amazing things!

The city is gorgeous. The people are kind and courteous. It’s an all around great city. So I sit upstairs in a coffee shop directly across from the UT campus and continue to stand in awe of life and how it works. Things happen fast. One minute we’re in one place and the next we’re in a place we never expected. It happens so fast.

I’ve definitely felt many feelings of being homesick. I’ve sat and contemplated why I’m even here over several days. Why do I find myself thousands of miles away from home for my entire summer not completely knowing what tomorrow will bring or what will be asked of me. I questioned a lot.

But as I sit listening to “All I Need” by Bethany Dillon and reflect on the past few weeks, I can’t help but recognize my sense of vanity. Is God truly “all I need?” Why am I honestly here? Is it really just for my self -profit?

 No. I am here for the purpose of glorifying God in all the ways I can and for simply following where I felt Him leading me. Yeah, it’s definitely hard. It’s hard leaving the comfort of my home, the familiarity of my community, the arms of those I love. But I’d rather be in the center of God’s will than any place I thought was my home. Glory be to God!

I’ve learned so much since I arrived in Austin. I’ve realized that the road we travel is narrow. It takes perseverance and faith.

The kids that I have had the opportunity to work with so far have challenged me in so many ways. I arrived at camp with the ideal mindset of campfire worship songs and even somewhat had the expectation of dealing with church raised children that have been brainwashed with the bible, sadly, much like we see with most Christian communities today. My eyes were quickly opened. I saw heavy hearts, distant minds, and broken lives. Could it be that this girl’s father resides in jail and her mother died when she was young while all the anger in the world resides within her? Could it be true that these two share the same hurtful father that continues to hit? Could It actually be true that all that some of these kids feel is the need to fight with one another and blame there home life on the world around them and the God that made it? It’s true. This is about far more than myself.

I sat in tears the night that my group of girls laughed and mocked the idea of actually talking about this “story” of a man named Jesus. “How could there actually be that much apathy in a child?” I thought. My first response was to say everything I possibly could that would show them the greatness of God. One of the most important things I learned though, was that isn’t my job. No one can truly pull another soul into the relationship with our Father other than our Father himself. So, I loved them. All I can do is love them; is lavish them in the same love my savior shows me everyday. We’re called to be lights unto the world. I am called to be a light.

My prayer is that I will shine as bright I can possibly can in this city, in these kids’ lives, in even one kid’s life.

So I sit upstairs in a coffee shop directly across from the UT campus and continue to stand in awe of life and how it works and how God works.

I’m so thankful that I’m loved.