a "not so needed" explanation..

Just so you all know.. part of my english class is to blog about a given topic on a weekly basis. So I will be posting various blogs in regards to that class. I feel like if people didn't know that they would think I write about a whole lot of random things. (even though 90% of my followers are classmates!) ha.

:) so.. just thought I'd clarify.

Mr. Mom

As I read Charlotte Bronte’s novel, Jane Eyre, there were many apparent gender themes spread throughout the book in which various normal gender roles within the society of the mid 19^th century were strongly challenged. This aspect of the book played a key importance to the development of each character; specifying whom the true antagonists and protagonists of the novel were.

Within one specific chapter of the book, chapter 15, the reader sees a very distinct challenge of a typical gender role of a male father and female mother. In the 19^th century, male figures were generally not regarded as the nurturer or caretaker of the children, this was a role specifically associated with the female figure.

As Jane is growing more and more accustomed to her life at Thornfield, she is continually learning and seeing the multifaceted character of Mr. Rochester. Chapter 15 contains a crucial scene in which Mr. Rochester manifests the disheartening story of his past lover, Celine Varens. Explaining his feelings of jealousy as Celine exits a car with another man close behind her, Mr. Rochester says the following to Jane:

You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre? Of course not; I need not ask you; because you never felt love. You have both sentiments yet to experience; your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which shall waken it. You think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in which your youth has hitherto slid away. Floating on with closed eyes and muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the bed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at their base. But I tell you—and you may mark my words—you will come someday to a craggy pass of the channel, where the whole of life’s stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult, foam and noise; either you will be dashed to atoms and crag-points, or lifted up and borne on by some master wave into a calmer current—as I am now.

In the 19^th century, male vulnerability and emotion shown such as this was not expected. We see a man confessing such feelings discovered from the soul wrenching experience of that of love; which was much expected then, and even in today’s society, from the women in the relationship. On the contrary, this scenario was a flipped gender role in which Celine left Mr. Rochester with raw emotions and feelings such as this, as well as her own child to take care of. He then steps into the role of the caretaker of this child, perplexing the ideas of the right roles for the proper genders. This happens in many instances throughout Jane Eyre. Bronte does a beautiful job at presenting these characters in way that disrupts the common views about gender during that era.

This is a novel that society should learn and grow from within the boxes that they have framed around what the “duties” or “normal” ways for men and women to go about life. I still think that there are natural borders to gender; however, women and men are absolutely able to accomplish the same amount of tasks and goals at the same standards.

Reference:

Bronte, Charlotte. Jane Eyre. New York, NY. 2001. Page 170.

"Male nor Female"

From the earliest of times human beings have been chasing, neglecting, twisting, or embracing the controversial idea of religion. It has driven some people away and drawn others in, damned a society to hell and loved and accepted the world. Religion has shown itself to be extremely difficult to grasp or even come to terms with. Among the various beliefs and morals in the Christian lifestyle, many cause commotion and concern around the world. Judeo-Christian values have impacted society in both negative and positive ways. One current issue stands out among the rest in today’s society: inter-sex people.

Sadly, issues such as these can be handled in poor regards, resulting in pain and persecution that should have never existed.

From a Christian perspective God created man and woman.
We all have heard this and are familiar with the basic concept. So when a person is born in a way that is not specific in human terms, what do we do with that? In a debate about inter-sex people the reverend defended his point, quite avidly, that sex is bipolar. He argued that this problem with inter-sex human beings is a grey area and is simply “nature playing tricks.” Sadly, the way that people have presented religion to the surrounding world has been heavily negative and consisted with much persecution. Thousands of people have been told that they are “going to hell” and “need to repent” or have strongly argued that if you are not like “them” you are unacceptable and simply wrong. In regards to issues such as inter-sex people, a lot of Christians have driven people away because of the way that they are treated. Many Christians have negatively affected our society and persecuted people that are different than they think that humans should be.

With this in mind, however, it is extremely important to recognize that the issue is not in the beliefs of Christianity or in God. This is strictly a problem with human beings, not God. Christianity is not supposed to just be a religion. From a biblical perspective, it’s supposed to represent a God that has compassion for a world in need, that accepts and loves anyone and everyone, no matter what sex they might be. People have twisted and presented God in a negative way that has, in turn, created a society in which religion is undesirable, even rejected and protested. I personally think that inter-sex people are an undeniable reality and that they should absolutely still be treated with the same respect and rights as men and women. Some inter-sex people may feel lost or like they are seeking for their true identity. In Luke 19:10, it says, “For the Son of man (Jesus Christ) came to seek and save what was lost.” What a beautiful concept, so widely misunderstood or misrepresented. Also, Galatians 3:28 states, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” The love of Jesus Christ should triumph over everything that we struggle, debate, and wage war with. Who are we to say that someone is any less of a person because of physical characteristics that they are born with? It’s time for Christians to recognize that the only way for God to truly be seen is by loving the world as God has loved the world. Yes, Christianity has significantly and negatively impacted the issue, but this is because the way that Christians and other religions have treated it; not once has it been God. These issues should be met with love and grace, much like that of Jesus Christ.

Gender & Identity.

As I sit in my bed, coffee in hand, watching Nick at Night’s priceless re-runs of The Nanny, I can’t help but notice the magnitude of the “typical” gender positions assumed within the American culture. We see Miss Fine looking sexy, as usual, dressed from head to toe in the stereotypical sexy woman outfit. Her job as a nanny suits a woman well within the American life, while the dashing Mr. Sheffield resides as the head of the house, bringing in an excessive amount of money. We see these roles being played all throughout America, whether it’s the media or simply within our daily lives. There are standards and expectations around every corner just waiting to create that barrier of the unattainable goals and dreams faced by women and men around the world.

In my mind, gender and identity have to do with the individuals that, as human beings, we grow and develop into. Each and every soul has the ability to decide just exactly what is going to make them who they truly are. Not one of us are exactly the same, each mind forms and deciphers the bits and pieces that will form them in their entirety. I believe that there is a lot of freedom in that process; however, I also believe that there is an intention and purpose behind the gender we find in our world. We were created for specific purposes within the human system of life and I think that we need to realize the beauty and intention behind it’s design.

I was highly informed, however, by Judith Lorber’s article about gender from a social perspective. We tend to associate, as a society, certain labels with each gender. We have expectations, stereotypes, and “norms” within our society that are ritualized on a daily basis. This kind of gender separation is not, in my opinion, the way it ought to be. I agree with Lorber in the fact that girls and boys are raised, taught, and expected to behave certain ways and like certain things. She explains, “In social interaction throughout their lives, individuals learn what is expected, see what is expected, act and react in expected ways, and thus simultaneously construct and maintain the gender order.” (Lorber, “Night to His Day”) Our order is constant, but is continually being broken and re-written. It has become more and more common to see men responsible for “womanly” duties, as well as women for “manly” duties. We are beginning to stretch the boundaries and the many assumptions placed upon the human race.

Being in this class and studying these areas of gender within America literature is going to stretch my views and opinions in various ways. I am anxious to learn and understand more about issues such as gender expectations and assumptions from other perspectives other than my own. Hopefully by the end of the semester I will have a broader understanding of the culture that I live and breathe every single day and I will have more confidence and assurance in my views regarding gender within our world.

New Song: Saved

Hello brother John, brother John
what do you have to say?
because I can't quite explain this
feeling that I've felt all along
as I read each word I sway
just like...

the branches on a sycamore
the ripples on a lake
the sand upon a vacant shore
the crashing of the waves.

Hello sister Ruth, sister Ruth
please sing to me of truth
I seek the redemption that you have, that you've found
as you glean in faith
and then I turn the page where good old Sam
is waiting just to say
Lord be my strength when I am...

the branches on a sycamore
the ripples on a lake
the sand upon a vacant shore
the crashing of the waves
I am, the fire on a withered field
where I can't change my ways
the dust beneath a wandering heel
that's dying to be saved from this.

well hello brother Paul, brother Paul
appeal to me this day
am I a living sacrifice, a holy one?
where on my knees I can say,
I will not conform, not conform
may my mind be transformed.

So hello Father God, Father God
my fear has kept me from
receiving grace upon dirty hands
a heart that moves and sways
for I am just a fool, just a fool
but in You I am changed
because You are...

the stillness of a sycamore
the beauty of a lake
the warmth of sand upon the shore
the sound of breaking waves
You are, the fire on a withered field
that no one can escape
the path beneath a wandering heel
that leads to being saved.

why.

Why?

Lately I've been haunted by the question of why? I'm living in a city that is full of people. All different styles, attitudes, colors, sizes, beliefs, struggles, lives. And I sit and watch as the car full of the family turns the corner and heads home, as green-peace solicitor makes eye contact with every possible person and follows with the question "could I have a second of your time?", as the couple walks hand in hand pushing each other back and forth in flirtation, and as the clock tower sings out with the passing of the next hour. 

So many lives. So many stories. So many.

But why?

I've been doing a study for my internship that pleads the point "don't waste your life" and each day I awake asking myself if the night before was wasted. I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with the answer. 

I'm at Starbucks now, where I just ordered my 6 pump toffee-nut late and a banana that came to somewhere around $4.50. I can't help but ask myself if that's a waste. 

So why?

Then the book "A Long Way Gone" by Ishmael Beah comes to mind. The first hand account of boy growing up amidst a horrifying 23 year long war in which he witnessed deaths in forms unimaginable. I wonder if he asks the question why? Why was he fortunate enough to break away into the freedom of America?

Why?

Why do I sit in the comfort of Austin, Texas, sipping my late, typing on my mac book, missing my home that I know I'll return to? Why has my life consisted of warm Christmas's and nice clothes and easy access churches? Why me? Why do I have this aching in my heart to know and understand and love a God that I will never comprehend, while millions of other people could absolutely care less? Why?

I've decided that i can ask why all that I want to, but I don't think I'll ever find those answers until I'm face to face with my creator.

 However, I realize that it was not by accident that I was placed where I am today. 

So I've come to the conclusion that the only valid response to this all, to all of this blessing that consumes my life, is to turn around and bless the world. Austin, Lancaster, America, the world. 

So Why? I have no idea. 

But we have to let that drive us, not hinder us. 

I have to let that drive me, not hinder me.

My Austin Journey #1

I’ve been in Austin, Texas for about two and half weeks and God has already been teaching me some amazing things!

The city is gorgeous. The people are kind and courteous. It’s an all around great city. So I sit upstairs in a coffee shop directly across from the UT campus and continue to stand in awe of life and how it works. Things happen fast. One minute we’re in one place and the next we’re in a place we never expected. It happens so fast.

I’ve definitely felt many feelings of being homesick. I’ve sat and contemplated why I’m even here over several days. Why do I find myself thousands of miles away from home for my entire summer not completely knowing what tomorrow will bring or what will be asked of me. I questioned a lot.

But as I sit listening to “All I Need” by Bethany Dillon and reflect on the past few weeks, I can’t help but recognize my sense of vanity. Is God truly “all I need?” Why am I honestly here? Is it really just for my self -profit?

 No. I am here for the purpose of glorifying God in all the ways I can and for simply following where I felt Him leading me. Yeah, it’s definitely hard. It’s hard leaving the comfort of my home, the familiarity of my community, the arms of those I love. But I’d rather be in the center of God’s will than any place I thought was my home. Glory be to God!

I’ve learned so much since I arrived in Austin. I’ve realized that the road we travel is narrow. It takes perseverance and faith.

The kids that I have had the opportunity to work with so far have challenged me in so many ways. I arrived at camp with the ideal mindset of campfire worship songs and even somewhat had the expectation of dealing with church raised children that have been brainwashed with the bible, sadly, much like we see with most Christian communities today. My eyes were quickly opened. I saw heavy hearts, distant minds, and broken lives. Could it be that this girl’s father resides in jail and her mother died when she was young while all the anger in the world resides within her? Could it be true that these two share the same hurtful father that continues to hit? Could It actually be true that all that some of these kids feel is the need to fight with one another and blame there home life on the world around them and the God that made it? It’s true. This is about far more than myself.

I sat in tears the night that my group of girls laughed and mocked the idea of actually talking about this “story” of a man named Jesus. “How could there actually be that much apathy in a child?” I thought. My first response was to say everything I possibly could that would show them the greatness of God. One of the most important things I learned though, was that isn’t my job. No one can truly pull another soul into the relationship with our Father other than our Father himself. So, I loved them. All I can do is love them; is lavish them in the same love my savior shows me everyday. We’re called to be lights unto the world. I am called to be a light.

My prayer is that I will shine as bright I can possibly can in this city, in these kids’ lives, in even one kid’s life.

So I sit upstairs in a coffee shop directly across from the UT campus and continue to stand in awe of life and how it works and how God works.

I’m so thankful that I’m loved.